Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
