problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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