Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
