Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
