you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
