so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So much rum. So many feels.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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