Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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