I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
