I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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