you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
