Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
