just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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