Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize