No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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