You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
