New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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