Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
