I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
