So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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