I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We don't watch enough power rangers
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
