"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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