? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
