just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
