Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
