what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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