I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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