its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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