North Korea, Best Korea!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You are the jesus of drinking
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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