Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
