Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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