Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
