the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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