he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
