Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
