just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
