All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
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