Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
