the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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