i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
