How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm passing your future prison.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
