Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Porn is love you can see.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
