Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
