I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
