I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
this will be a night to untag.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
