it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
