Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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