You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
