Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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