Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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