I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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