he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
