Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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