is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
