Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
