just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
