i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
