Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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