Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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