You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
